A Letter to the budding psychotherapist

Dear budding therapist,

A warm welcome, to this place where you are on your own journey in finding your self and helping others in their own journeys of the self.

The reason I thought of writing this letter to you, is in response to something that caught my attention recently.

I noticed that when potential interns, supervisees, and mentees write to me, the manner in which they present themselves -their impressive resumes, degrees, training programs they have attended, the hours and skills, really stirs some strong questions and feelings in me.

To a point that I started wondering, even with a decade of practice, Have I done as much as a 21 year old today? At least that’ s how it feels when you go through resumes these days.

And yet, its a completely different scene altogether in therapy or supervision.

Their linkdin profile/ cover letter is a stark contrast to what’s expressed in their therapy/ supervision space .

They seem more anxious and lost- (clients, supervisees, mentees), despite studying from top notch colleges, despite having ‘achieved’ a lot, seen a lot, attained so many goals and ambitions, their long impressive resumes doesn’t align with how they feel within. They feel incompetent, an imposter, unfit to becoming a therapist/ of being one, constantly beating themselves up inside, but barely able to share it outside, due to the taboos of wanting to belong/being in the mental health care profession.

How can there be such a huge split between the self that’s projected online, to the outside world versus the ones they are, in spaces they can be vulnerable in?

In some cases, this dichotomy is so stark that it aches you, moves you to wanting to do something about it.

And I tried doing something about it.

In 2011 -13, I carried out a study on Stress, Well being and Self- care practices in prospective mental health professionals ( – clinical psychology and psychiatric social work trainees) at NIMHANS, an Institute of national importance, often considered the pinnacle in India when it comes to mental health training and services. The results were alarming. Stress, Negative Affect were significantly higher than those reported in a general community sample of Indian youth. On the other hand average Positive Affect, Life Satisfaction and Psychological Well Being scores were significantly lower than those reported in other Indian studies with youth samples. Another thing that we noticed was that trainees barely practiced what they preached. They barely took care of their own mental health. They felt unprepared and yet at the same time, faced a barrier in sharing their own insecurities and mental health concerns. The stigma of showing any signs of vulnerability as a budding mental health professional.

Yes the irony of it.

In this age of mental health and awareness, the place where this stigma is the highest is amongst mental health professionals themselves.

On the one hand someone who is barely trained is super confident and starting mental health apps and centers right left and center. On the other, Really smart, empathic , highly trained psychologists who look quite well put together on the outside are bearing holding it together on the inside. Constantly doubting and second guessing themselves, feeling really low, anxious and frustrated, questioning their career choice, they end being too scared to start their own practice, to reach out , take support, guidance and help when needed.

Given some time and effort anyone can learn a lot of techniques, theory, conduct programs- fulfil said criteria and become a mental health professional. But the real practice of mental health starts from within, something that isn’t taught in said institutes (as yet).

The first thing a mental health professional should prioritize is their mental health. Remember their own humanity first. Own who you are – truly.

Let me put you to ease. That friend you are envious about, the one who got into M.Phil/Phd, or went abroad to pursue his/her masters, or the one who just got a job at a top notch hospital, the one with their own practice?

He/she is feeling just as much if not more than you are.

Now that the cat is out of the box, lets calmly figure out what can YOU do about this.

Remember what Carl Rogers spoke about the gap between the real self and the ideal self?

The bigger the gap, the bigger the distress you experience. (Now, that said some may not experience any distress at all, denial starts pretty close to home than you think)

You can start yourself by closing this gap.

For starters be yourself on your resumes. I mean be 22, not 32, or 42. We do not expect a 22 year old with a masters nor anyone who has just started his/her training, to be equipped to deal with PTSD, seriously.

If you cant be real be yourself how can you help a client to be real with themselves?

Secondly try and seek out spaces where you can talk, share process and navigate your human and trainee/therapist concerns openly.

What I personally feel can help a budding psychotherapist is cultivating this space as early as possible.

Seek out spaces that can guide you, contain you, help you relook the manner you look at yourselves and take care of yourselves first.

A healthy dose of self reflection, and the kind you get in personal therapy, supervision and mentoring spaces can take you far.

Start this early on in your practice, you can prevent a lot of heartache and can bolster your growth as a therapist.

Warmest regards,

From,

An older therapist who travelled said paths, and is still figuring it out herself.