Bringing together the therapist, client, supervisor and psychotherapy supervisor in me.

Setting context-

My name is Lyn and I was trained to be a clinical psychologist. Post formal training, in the decade that passed, I have explored and adorned different hats. Somehow, despite how unique some of these ‘hats’ were, they magically came together, aligned and enriched my journey and choice of being a healer.

Today I guess I go by the following identifiers- Clinical Psychologist/ Psychotherapist/ Psychotherapy Supervisor. I think two other roles greatly influence these roles though they aren’t highlighted on top of my LinkedIn Profile –The supervisee and a patient/client in Therapy.

This write up is a more of reflective piece on the how they all come together in me becoming and growing as a healer. Thus the disclaimer-more my personal truth than a research paper.

The clinical psychologist in me-

This part of me is the objective detail oriented, systematic evidence based practitioner. Its the part that subsumes the science of studying the mind and intervention when and where, deemed necessary. The science here is about observing behavioral patterns that repeat and understanding the similarities that tie us as a species, and what triggers an anomaly and what could probably help someone find their way back to sense of health and normalcy. The rigorous training honed my skills to observe, assess, plan, communicate, delegate and be part of a system. It humbles me ,reminds me that I cant do it all alone, relying on a team of different kinds of practitioners. However it has a side that can get distant, cold and calculated, generic in approach. Many a times we can fall prey to categorizing a person and treating the symptom than connecting to the person and facilitating wholistic healing.

This where the psychotherapist in me steps in.

For me personally, Its the art of doing the work- with an openness, curiosity and compassion, a willingness to look at things more dynamically, than just a diagnosis, a symptom, a case/ an individual. As objective as things get, its gets a 100 times more personal, subjective, relational, complex and complicated when you sit across and truly connect with another human. How do you marry the objective and the subjective? What do you do when you client reminds of someone you truly hate? maybe reminds you of YOU? Maybe makes you feel nothing? Better yet, a client who makes you feel YOU ARE NOTHING. With each new client you have to be ready to work in newer creative ways that’s unique to the clients being. This reminds me, constant learning and rediscovering of myself trumps traditional training. My training isn’t over with just a M.Phil or other add ons. I have to constantly create and be in learning spaces till the end of time (this is true of being human actually, but more so when you want to work with people and healing).

This is where my supervision spaces come in.

There are multiple permutations and combinations where it comes to a supervision space- starting with the number of supervisees- individual versus small/ large groups, open closed groups, based on schools of thought etc. My supervision spaces are at the outset a space for my professional development but today I’m part of spaces where I can get personal and vulnerable so that I can grow professionally. This isn’t something that’s heard of in mainstream supervision. Most of the time, in the name of objectivity, there is almost a conscious effort to keep the therapist as a PERSON outside of the therapy room as well supervision. No matter how much you try to keep them separate, There is one whole YOU at the end of the day (hopefully). I feel its better you realize all this early on in your career than later and work out and learn means to ensure how you can do the work without harming the client.

Thus A healthy supervision space is integrative, than separationist in practice . Its a space where one is not afraid of vulnerability that aids learning. Its a space that bridges that connect the personal and the professional within, and if you are in a group builds bridges to the other wonderful members; than ‘classes’ where I am ‘taught’ something or am ‘teaching’ something. –

The psychotherapist (as a whole) is THE ultimate psychotherapeutic instrument. It’s important the therapist is aware of this and tries to bring together all aspects of her or his personality and be open to and open in learning spaces to become this instrument. This gives them the unique capacity to be honed by experience and thus create a relationship that helps other people grow, heal, and expand the range of possibilities in their lives. Thus Supervision, is a two way street to me, at so many different planes- so its is not just for professional growth, I do grow personally as well. its a two way street in the manner that both the supervisor and supervisee are also learning together despite assigned roles based on experience. Which is probably why I chose to write this part as a single piece than separate out my experiences as a supervisor versus of being a supervisee. Though I will always have to be aware of the primary role I’m called to play – I’m ‘the supervisor’ in one group, a ‘supervisee’ in another, and in this space – in bringing together my both my experiences, I managed to come to this clarity that am a continuous being- both the supervisor and supervisee, in all spaces irrespective of the basic premise which is pre-set. Am grateful for the experience and the insights it has prompted in me. and I hope to continue learning and being.

Being the PATIENT-

This the trickiest terrain of the lot, at least according to me ,which is why despite all our claims and advice, mental health professionals are the last to go to therapy, irrespective of it being for help or for growth. I guess I kinda arranged the journey in order of increasing difficulty. I’m with my fourth therapist as am writing this. I have been in therapy on and off since 2008. The journey across therapists itself have been interesting and eye opening. My first therapist was a counsellor by training, the second a CBT therapist, the third was a clinical psychologist and currently am with a training analyst. Initially I used this very reasoning that to become a good therapist I need to go for my own inner work. Though that’s true, a more fundamental truth is something else. Being the patient, is the toughest because it calls for you to get in touch with YOUR own MADNESS for a change. MADNESS has a negative connation and is often used to localize something wrong/unhealthy and unacceptable in AN OTHER, than something more innate, amorphous , misunderstood in ALL OF US. Going for our own analysis can get maddening to put it mildy, but is worth it to remember, We are all but in the same boat.

So, today am a psychotherapist, but am also so many other things, which add to my being a therapist. What are your thoughts on what’s making you a better therapist? Is training the end all? or there is more you can add to this mix on the way to becoming a healer? Share your thoughts!

Warmly,

Lyn