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THE IMPORTANCE OF LISTENING -PART:1- theory and evidence

  • Jun 9, 2016
  • 8 min read

Updated: Jan 19, 2023



                                                                                                                                                    -EPICTETUS-

This article is divided into the following sub sections-

  1. Defining Listening

  2. Research evidence for the importance of listening

  3. Some theories on the type of listeners/listening

  4. Active listening

  5. Tips on how to be a better listener

Feel free to skip to the ones that you find interesting 🙂

1) What is listening? Are listening and hearing one and the same or are they two different things?

Listening is defined as a form of communication that involves hearing, interpreting, and constructing meanings; an active process that is not limited to the spoken word; and an essential way of participating in daily routines as well as wider decision-making processes (Clark, 2005).

So in simple words-

  1. It’s MORE than HEARING.

  2. It includes interpreting and is an ACTIVE PROCESS not a PASSIVE ONE at that.

  3. It involves HIGHER MENTAL PROCESSES like planning, meaning making, decision making etc.

Little if anything is ever suggested to improve listening habits mainly because of the misconception by many, according to Hunsaker and Alessandra (1986), is that listening is related to hearing.

If that’s the case-

2.1) Are you a good Listener?

A study of over 8,000 people employed in businesses, hospitals, universities, the military and government agencies found that virtually all of the respondents believed that they communicate as effectively as or more effectively than their co-workers.  (Could everyone be above average?)  However, research shows that the average person listens at only about 25% efficiency.¹

Everyone sincerely believes or would like to believe that he or she listens.  Maybe a tiny percent may even believes that they need to improve upon their listening skills.  But, in fact, listening effectively is something that very few of us can do. It’s not that it’s hard, but it’s just that we haven’t (or chose not to) developed it enough.

Studies show that immediately after the average person has listened to someone talk, he remembers only about half of what he has heard—no matter how carefully he thought he was listening. What happens as time passes? Two months after listening to a talk, the average listener will remember only about 25% of what was said. In fact, after we have barely learned something, we tend to forget from one-half to one-third of it within eight hours; it is startling to realize that frequently we forget more in this first short interval than we do in the next six months.³

Despite all of this, while most people agree that listening effectively is a very important skill, most people don’t feel a strong need to improve their own skill level.

2.2) Is Listening such a big deal?

To a large degree, effective leadership is effective listening.  A study of managers and employees of a large hospital system found that listening explained 40% of the variance in leadership.¹ 

On an informational front, effective listening gives people access to others’ beliefs, knowledge, objectives, and attitudes, in part because people disclose information more readily and effectively to those who listen well (e.g., Bavelas, Coates, & Johnson, 2000; Miller, Berg, & Archer, 1983). As a result, effective listening may help individuals better understand the context in which their influence attempts transpire, thereby enabling them to tailor their persuasive behavior to that context.4

Second, effective listening can also have important relational benefits. When people feel ‘‘listened to’’ by would-be agents of influence their liking for, commitment to, and trust in the agents tend to increase, thereby expanding the agents’ influence power (e.g., Blader & Tyler, 2003; Detert & Burris, 2007; Yukl, Kim, & Falbe, 1996).4

When it comes to the field of counselling and psychotherapy listening is a crucial skill. Many a therapist/ counsellor think that because they are trained in counselling/therapy they have more knowledge than their clients; however, the blatant truth is that client is the expert on his or her own life. Therefore it’s important for a counsellor to listen so that he or she not only understand the words, but the underlying message of what someone is saying.

3.1) Are there different types of listening/listeners then?

Typically, researchers separate listeners into three or four specific types or levels. All systems are slightly different in how they separate listeners but all offer a continuum from non-listeners to very deep listeners.

Newkirk and Linden (1982) present a system that examines three specific listening types: time wasters, dissonance reducers and active listeners.

Hunsaker and Alessandra (1986) put listeners in one of four general categories, according to the depth of concentration and sensitivity on the part of the listener.  The four types are: the non-listener, marginal listener, evaluative listener, and the active listener.  As we move from the first, through the fourth the potential for understanding, trust and effective communication increases.

The highest and most effective level of listening is the active listening (Hunsaker and Alesandra, 1986; Newkirk and Linden, 1982).

Active listening is a communication technique that increases understanding and rapport between speaker and listener. Rather than passively listening to the speaker (or not listening at all), the active listener pays close attention to both verbal and body language, then repeats back the most important points of the speaker’s message.  Active listening requires that we listen not only for the content of the speakers message, but more importantly, for the intent and feeling of the message as well. The active listener shows the listener, both verbally and nonverbally that they are truly interested and listening. They are usually skilful questioners, but never interrupt and are always looking for verbal and visual cues that signify the other person has something to say.

Research has found that by listening effectively, you will get more information from the people you manage, you will increase others’ trust in you, you will reduce conflict, you will better understand how to motivate others, and you will inspire a higher level of commitment in the people you manage.(Behn, 1998)¹

4.1) Active Listening Techniques

There are several active listening techniques which assist people in utilizing their listening time to its fullest extent.  According to Newkirk and Linden (1982) some of these techniques are: paraphrasing, reflection, neutral technique, clarifying and summarization.

  1. Paraphrasing:when the listener restate in their own words what the speaker means. This is very valuable in testing the whether the listener really understood what the speaker meant and also to let the speaker know they are being actively listened to.

  2. Reflection:is slightly different from paraphrasing; here the focus is primarily on how the speaker felt, than the content of the message. This is particularly important when the speaker expresses strong feelings.

  3. Neutral technique:encourages the speaker to continue talking. A simple nod of head or a “uh-huh” are usually effective signals that the listener is interested and listening. This may sound cliche, however a lot of people actually do not do it/sustain it in reality.

  4. Clarifying:is the technique used when the listener needs more information of a specific nature. It usually takes the form of a question.

  5. Summarization: Involves combining the speaker’s thoughts into a concise statement which focuses on the speakers key points.

4.2) Skills that Active Listeners Possesses

Hunsaker and Alessandra (1986) discuss three additional, very important skills that only active listeners possess. They are sensing, attending and responding.

Sensing is the ability to recognize and appreciate the silent messages that the speaker is sending; that is facial expressions, intonation and body language.

Attending refers to the verbal, vocal and visual messages that the active listener sends back to the speaker acknowledging the speaker and their message. This also establishes a receptive listening setting, away from distractions, private without invading the speakers “personal space.”

Responding is when the listener gets feedback on the accuracy of the speaker’s content and feelings, tries to gather more information, attempts to make the speaker feel understood and encourages the speaker to understand themselves, their problems and concerns better.

5) Tips to Better Listening

The most important thing to keep in mind is that listening is a process, and one that requires a lot of effort. The following are a few tips that can help you get better at it.

  1. Prepare yourself to Listen. Calm yourself down first. Relax. Take a break from what you were doing. and poise yourself so that your speaker gets your un-diverted attention.

  2. Avoid distractions. This is obvious. Please keep your phones, and stay fro the internet or any other distractions.Don’t try to divide your attention between the speaker and something else. You may think you’re good at multi-tasking, and maybe you are, but demonstrating a commitment to the act of listening means you respect the other person, that they deserve your undivided attention.

  3. Make the speaker comfortable.  It may seem its easy to talk and confide. However the hard truth is it takes a lot of effort to let go and confide. So ensure that you give them the time and the space to do so. Also consider it a privilege to listen,than a favor.

  4. Be patient-Don’t interrupt the speaker. until they are done speaking. You can however supplement the interaction by non verbal cues like nodding, and “hmm-ing” etc. There maybe several ideas cropping up in your mind about what may help,all that can wait till they are done.

  5. Don’t rehearse your response in your head! Your job right now is only to listen. If you start planning what you can say, you would miss out on crucial things that the person had to say.

  6. Watch out for Non Verbal cues.  the long pauses, the silences. the tears. the smile. the sudden increase in the rate of speech ,the tone. They are clues to what is important to the speaker.

  7. Don’t complete the speaker’s sentences. This often comes across as presumptuous and rude. It affects the entire process to begin with and will  make the speaker want to listen to you less, maybe even talk less.

  8. Listen for Ideas Not Words. this way you can remember what the speaker is sharing. Look out for fundamental ideas that’s being conveyed

  9. Clarify politely. Once the speaker is done speaking, Please clarify any doubts or gaps in information. Do not work under the assumption that what you understood of what was said is accurate. 

  10. Address the speaker’s points. It will make it easier for the speaker to transition into a listener when they know exactly what part of their message you’re addressing.

  11. Be Empathetic. Empathy is one of the most used words these days, however according to me, the most difficult thing to practice. We can however choose to better at it everyday.Its the ability to stand in the other persons shoe, to understand the situation from their frame of reference. I sure can vouch that it develops with practice.

  12. Remember that listening does not equal agreement. Just as the speaker is entitled to his/her opinion so does the listener. Both can coexist. Listening doesn’t essentially mean you agree on everything.

  13. Avoid faking attention and pretending to listen. This is the worst thing anyone can do. If someone thinks you were paying attention but in reality you weren’t, you are inviting trouble.  It would seem to them as if  you are insulting him/her. If you are asked to respond in some way, but if caught unawares, there may not be a going back.

Listening is the most important part of communication, because if you fail to understand the message being conveyed to you, you will also fail in providing a substantial and meaningful response. This is the root cause of many arguments, misunderstandings, and complications, whether at home, school, or work. therefore being able to improve upon your skills as a listener can change a lot of things for you as well as for others.

References-

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